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| You know you guys... I really need a computer. And loans need to come in like... now. So I can buy books... because that job at the theater just ain't gonna cut it.
I'm like a homeless person... except not in a cardboard box and I have food. Ok, so maybe not like a homeless person, I just have no cash. That sucks...
MAJOR! We need to find better jobs!
Phil is here. He's still a retard. I thought everyone knew that... | | |
| Mmm... day off work. Well, working with children has taught me
something very valuable... some parents along with their children are
retarded. If you send your child to the movie theater, please
make sure that you give them enough money for snacks. I don't
care how much popcorn and candy costed in YOUR day, but nowadays it's
much more expensive. Please compensate.
All righty then, more ranting...
1. I hate kids. Period.
2. Know what you want from the snack bar before you come up to
it. None of this waiting in line crap, because there are ten
other people behind you who DO know what they want. Get out of
line and look at the bloody menu before you get back into the goddamn
line!
3. Pick up after yourselves. I am not you mother, and she should have taught you better if you leave shit in the theater.
4. Don't sit in the theater when people are cleaning it. That's
just fucking rude. You don't do that when we're trying to make
the theater better, or if you don't want to move, you can just sit in
the filth that was left by the children that were previously in the
theater.
5. Go to the theater you paid for. Don't sit in another theater
and claim to want to be here because the "screen is bigger" or "I
didn't like the movie I chose originally" or even "I wanted to see this
movie." (these are actual reasons people gave me for being in a
different theater) Ok, first off the screen is like fucking 30
feet big or something, so don't give me this shit of you wanted to see
the movie on a bigger screen, that's total bullshit. If you
didn't want to see the movie, too fucking bad for you. YOU paid
for the movie, YOU have to go see it. Don't like this idea, then
go to the box office and get a ticket for the movie you WANT to
see. It's not that fucking hard retards...
6. Learn fucking directions. When I say left, it's too your
bloody left. When I say "up the stairs," don't fucking go towards
the bathrooms, go up the fucking stairs! UP THE STAIRS! How
hard is it to understand that? Did you get lost in our tiny
theater? LOOK AT YOUR TICKET! It has your theater number on
it. Do the math.
7. I don't know everything about a movie. Just because I work at
a movie theater doesn't mean I know everything. I don't know why
the newspaper printed the wrong times (but you know, that guy was
umm... retarded, because the newspaper DID print the correct times,
it's just that he didn't see it), I don't know why Darth Vader acts
like a sad goth kid, I don't know how "Crash" is, and I also don't know
why the director chose that location to film that movie. (HE JUST
FUCKING DID, OK?!) Leave me alone, I take your ticket or I give
you your snacks. I don't anything else! GET AWAY FROM ME!
8. Snack prices are on the menu. That shouldn't take
explanation... like I shouldn't be telling every other person who asks
me how much a drink is to look at the menu. The menu is a magical
display that tells you everything. It does not lie. If the
menu says it's that price, it's that fucking price. We're not
going to charge you an extra dollar at the register you dumbass.
Neither are we harboring any other snacks besides the ones that are
posted on the menu. Want whoppers? We don't have any!
Is it on the menu? THEN WE DON'T HAVE ANY!! IT'S NOT THAT
FRICKIN' HARD!!
9. Stay in your fucking seats throughout the movie showing. I'm
fucking sick and tired of teenaged dramas and how your
boyfriend/girlfriend is calling you on the phone and you have to walk
out of the theater every 20 minutes to answer the fucking thing.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Sometimes I just feel like
taking an entire roll of duct tape and binding those stupid bitches to
the chair (and adding a strip over their mouths for good
measure). What the fuck is your problem interrupting other
people's viewings of movies? You're so lucky that I don't want to
get fired, because I would take the broom used for cleaning the
theaters and repeatedly beating you with it, you stupid bitches.
You know, if people just followed the rules, then we wouldn't be having this rant now, would we?
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| Ok, lemme just clarify a couple of things before we get through...
1. Don't let me ever... EVER catch you littering in movie theaters ever
again. You know that someone has to come up and clean up after
you, and that person happens to be ME. Sometimes even by myself,
because some people are too freakin' busy hiding behind the snack
counter in the front to help out someone. If I ever do find you
littering anywhere in the theater, or bringing in outside food (when
the stupid sign in the front clearly states that you cannot... you are
not God, nor are you the "King or Queen of the World." I don't
give a crap what you say, you're not allowed to bring food into the
goddamn theater!) I will break you. Not only I will break you,
but I will bury you in the outside parking lot, or perhaps make you an
irritating speed bump so you can bother someone else other than MYSELF.
2. I don't give a crap if your movie has started. It's your fault
for coming so goddamn late to the theater in the first place. I
understand if someone is cleaning the theater, but if you're going to
stand there and complain to me that you have missed ten minutes of your
movie because you were standing in line for snacks, it's not going to
cut it. Besides, the first ten minutes of the movie is movie
previews... PREVIEWS! Who gives a crap if you miss a couple of
previews? And besides, it's not like anything interesting
actually happens in the FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE.
3. I don't give out refunds. I'd be glad to point you out to
someone who will, but I don't know what the hell to do with your ticket
stub. Look, I just stand in the front and I tear the
ticket. I point out where the theater is... I don't have cash on
me. Does it look like I have cash on me?
4. Why do you buy a ticket to a movie if you're just going to walk out
of it? It's so retarded, you should know what movie you want to
sit and see (that's what movie descriptions and reviews are for, why
don't you try reading some?), but it's your money if you decide to walk
out on it. I shall refer you to number 3 if you decide to come to
me to complain about your movie experience.
5. I hate kid movies... no scratch that, I hate kids. I also hate
teenagers. They totally miss their mouths when they consume
snacks and food items.
6. Star Wars III did not have enough Wookie coverage. I was
severely disappointed. I also wanted Anakin to suffer more before
he turned to Vader (although it was pretty funny that he thought he was
God and tried to do something when Obi Wan clearly warned him that he'd
get it in the end... haha stupid ass)... I also wanted internal
struggle... I didn't get any. Also stupid lines like this example:
"You're so beautiful."
"That's because I'm so in love."
"No, it's because I'm so in love with you..."
That... makes me want to shoot myself in the head, or at least my
foot. I hate you Anakin Skywalker. At least your son and
daughter are cool enough to make up for you... ass.
Yoda vs. the Emperor... kinda gay. That made no sense. And
Yoda could so have kicked his ass, but then again there wouldn't be
more to the saga. But still, CG Yoda flipping out was kinda hard
to believe. I was all -> O_o;;
Other than that, the theater is a cool place to work. My
co-workers are ok, and I can tolerate standing for 7 hours a day as
long as I get paid. The government gave me free money also, so
I'll be getting a new computer, instead of stealing Chibi's. ^^;;
WHOO! *runs away*
Oh, by the way, congrats to Kari-chan, who graduated from Aiea.
You go girl... now welcome to the real world... but at least it's
better than Aiea. ^_^
EDIT: I hope you're freakin' happy Phil, I corrected all the typos, especially OBI WAN. People knew what I was talking about! *shakes fist*
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| Wow, I didn't know I knew a couple of people who used to work in the theaters.  Thanks for posting you guys. I dunno, I think the interview went ok I guess, I mean I didn't totally fuck up or anything. ... I hope I didn't... shit...
You know what? I have to work 40 hours a week to make something decent at the theater... dammit all to hell!
Anyway, my arm is hurting probably because of a huge-ass knot in it. That's what I get for not attending to my wounds when they first come out, but oh well. I just hope I have enough pain medication to make it go away for a couple of hours... -__-
I'm going to take my last final today... Yay!
But I also have to write a paper that's due tomorrow... Boo!
Stupid arm! It even makes it difficult to type! | | |
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